The Dinner I Was Scared to Order

“Kim, I’m too tired to go to dinner tonight,” I confide as we stroll out of our conference room.

It’s the end of the first full day of the Your Story Matters conference in the Middle East, sponsored by Women in the Window International. I don’t want to give up dinner with these remarkable women, from 10 surrounding countries,  but the adrenaline that fueled me through the redeye flights and the first day is long gone.

“That’s fine, Leslie. Do whatever you need to do,” Kim assures me kindly. She’s the founder and director of this phenomenal organization. “Maybe you can have the hotel send dinner to your room.”

“Oh would they do that? I definitely need to eat. My body thinks it’s breakfast time.”

“I’m sure they would do that.”

Now I’m thinking, Maybe I could even ask for dessert!

It sounded dreamy: dining in my room, going to bed early and being fully energized for the next few days—-perfect! But somehow, between the conference room and my hotel room two floors down my compliant middle child took over:  They just have a buffet, not a menu. They won’t bring dinner to your room. And what would you ask for? Don’t make a fuss. Just eat that granola bar in your suitcase. You’ll be fine.

Resigned to this familiar voice (which has led to many missed meals, sleep, etc.) I shuffle to my room, drop my bag to the floor, glance at my suitcase. Now where did I put that last granola bar?  

Then----on the desk—-fruit. There’s a plate of fruit on the desk. Lots of fruit: bananas, kiwi, oranges, apples, all beautifully arranged. I drop my bag. This isn’t a welcome plate for my first night here---I arrived last night.  I look around—nothing else has been touched. Who was here? Who is feeding me? Then, Probably everyone in the group got one, I reason.

I scarf down half the fruit then tumble into bed. The next day (after a good sleep) I find out that no one else had received one. And that was the only night it appeared.

Before the retreat began Kim chose a verse from Nehemiah as our theme: “Go and enjoy the good food and sweet drinks. Give some food and drinks to those who didn't prepare any food. Today is a special day to our Lord. Don't be sad, because the joy of the LORD will make you strong.”

These women gathered from countries where their faith is illegal. In some, churches are being closed down overnight.  They meet with one another in homes, in small groups. They cannot sing; the neighbors might hear them. They are ministry leaders who themselves have endured suffered war, persecution, and other traumas—they are serving others who have known the same. I am humbled before them.

(Protecting identities)

What do I know of such things? Nothing! But I do know the weight of a great sadness and fear-of-the-future that has come with me.

But now, here we are---together! We are eating rich food and drinking sweet drinks: Fanta, cherry cola, sweet tea. We sing loudly in Arabic, French, Spanish and English. We study, play and pray. We learn, with pen in hand, how to bring every hunger and sadness, word by word, onto the page.  “Our stories are verbal acts of hospitality,” Eugene Peterson writes. Every day we write then open the door, circle our chairs and set the table for one another, serving the richest food of all---our rescue stories, all the ways we are being swept and whispered from fear into boldness and faith.

(A small part of our group—-all ministry leaders in their own countries.)

I don’t know who arranged the fruit on the plate and then delivered it that night, but I know who sent it. How can we fear the future with a Father who feeds us like this?

I arrange these simple words now on this plate and pray they will be sent to any who are hungry and sad. Please take, eat. Know that the One who made you loves you. Forgives you. Has come to feed you, through your own stories and the stories of others. Listen to them. Drink deeply.

“Go and enjoy the good food and sweet drinks . . . Today is a special day to our Lord. Don't be sad, because the joy of the LORD will make you strong.”

 Dear Friends, YES, there was so much fruit from this trip. THANK YOU for all your prayers, wishes and support!