Yes, I believe the virus is real. I wear a mask (when I’m away from Harvester Island.) I social distance. I listen to the scientists. But it’s hard. This is our everyday reality: How many more will die? Schools open or closed? My job/business—will it survive? When can I see my father in his care facility? How can we vote safely in the election coming up? How do I help my grieving sister? How will I make the house payment this month?
It’s scary, let’s admit it. It is not weakness to fear. We are humans, not gods so it is right for us to fear. There are thousands of fears to choose from. And If we do not choose them, they will choose us. So let us choose our fears wisely. Here are 10 of mine that I am choosing over Covid. Maybe they will be yours as well?
1. Fear Tsunami’s
and hurricanes, wildfires, floods, tornados and other natural disasters. Every year in Kodiak we have at least one tsunami warning and evacuation. (We had one last week.) I never want to go. I want to ignore warnings and carry on. But my fearlessness is foolishness. I wasn’t there for the tsunami that wiped out Kodiak in 1964. We can choose not to believe unsettling science or disrupting alarms but natural disasters are no respecter of persons. I am learning to respect the warnings that are meant to protect us, not control us.
2. Fear Helplessness
When I feel helpless, (and who does not know this feeling?) I lapse into apathy. I feel sorry for myself. I nurse resentment toward those around me who seem to have so much more control over their lives (and sometimes mine.) My hands fall slack. But I’m not helpless and neither are you. No matter our circumstances, no one can keep us from loving God. No one can keep us from serving one another. No one can keep us from doing small things with great love.
3. Fear Disrespect
not disunity. Our democracy has always been a plurality of voices, a plethora of worldviews. It is not difference that threatens as much as casting “differents” as “enemies.” And when, in an extreme case, someone indeed wishes your destruction, what then? You know what’s next: “love your enemies. Do good to those who persecute you.”
4. Fear Blindness
Every summer I go blind. After months on this island, as I thin with routine, isolation, my eyes dim. But God doesn’t stop waking my island and the earth new every morning. Even now, during this pandemic, He doesn’t stop filing the skies with his love. He doesn’t stop revealing his faithfulness daily to a thousand generations of those who love him. He doesn’t stop opening his hands to his creatures. He never stops setting bushes aflame, if we would only keep watch . . .
5. Fear Self-Love
masquerading as healthy self-esteem. Do not doubt her power! She lies in wait around every corner and soapbox, insisting on attention, elevation, the proper introductions and prostrations---or at least some brief public acknowledgment that we are, in many ways, just a little superior to others. We’re always right—about the virus, about our political candidate . . . . Every exchange reveals our expansive knowledge. (Lord forgive me!). How small and tight she shrinks our hearts, robbing us of the wisdom that surrounds us.
6. Fear End Time Prophecies
that become clever routes to excuses, that all is hopeless, nothing can be done, we can’t help anyway, God is sovereign, the world is soon to end, ignore the pandemic, the toxic health of the planet. Camp out like Jonah over the world and wait, with hands folded, for the inevitable (yay!) fiery end. But no. Please don’t check out of God’s world. Yes, a new world is coming but if we don’t care for this one and all its people, how will we care for the next?
7. Fear Self-Sufficiency
I am the master of this, this woman who lives in “quarantine” four months a year on a faraway island in Alaska. Now we all know what it’s like to live on islands, by ourselves for months at a time. Maybe we’ve done well. Look, how strong we are! How independent! What rugged fierce self-reliant people we are! May we not be undone by this. This strength is weakness, unraveling the threads between us. Even as we distance, may we never get used to it. May we not give up longing for the presence of one another.
8. Fear Patriotism
and the prophets and evangelists who offer personal and national salvation through a political party; who threaten personal and national damnation through the other political party; who teach us we love God best by serving our country first. Who blind us to the only kingdom we are called to give our lives to.
9. Fear the enemy of our body-and-soul
who whispers that God is not with us. Who points to our losses as proof that He cannot be trusted. Who will keep prodding our bruises, exploiting our doubts, who will promise us prosperity, strength, a better job, and maybe even a new fancy car if only we’ll serve him, which is also to serve ourselves. Who tempts us to live to gain power rather than live to give love. Fear the pursuit of our “best life” which looks so different from the beautiful difficult lives of the saints before us.
And above all,
10. Fear the Maker of our Body-and-Soul,
which is to say, LOVE the Maker of our body-and-Soul.
He is our Father, our Redeemer, our Brother, our Savior,
our Breath, our Light, our Bread, our Blood, our Hope. Our King.
No matter where this pandemic takes us, Fear Him.
This is the only fear that dispels death
and every fear
not born of love.
“Where God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out fear. “ 1 John 4:18
Friends, we’re going to make it through.
wIth love and gratitude,
Leslie